i was recently in my little sister’s wedding, where i got asked the same question at every table i stopped at to greet family: “when are you getting married again?!“ (just casually dropped in there after mentioning they hadn’t seen me since my own wedding)
for those that don’t know [because i like my private little life], i was married for about a year and a half to a man i was with for nine years. (and yes, it was ALL my twenties.)
nothing terribly awful happened for its demise, so if you think i’m writing this to talk shit —you really don’t know me.
we were unhappy. end of story.
the last five years, i have been single by choice. i’ve dated.
and yes, even loved.
but what has made me most fulfilled was finding and learning to love myself, again.
although i know it is a “default inquiry” for older generations to wonder why a young woman would want to be alone, because ‘her one true goal should be to find a man to make her whole!’ —i have to say, i have gotten fed up with the “we’re just concerned” questions by friends and acquaintances throughout the years…
“you’re still single?!” / “are you at least seeing anyone?” / “you’re not lonely?!” / “do you think you and [ex-husband] will get back together?”
etc. etc.
i pride myself in being a genuine and honest person.
so to all, including my family, i answer with the truth:
“nah. i’m happy!”
though, some do push the question —as if asking differently would “break me” into changing my answer.
i just politely double-down on my TRUTH.
i love living alone. no, i don’t want a pet (i love my plant babies), and i truly enjoy doing what i want, when i want, in my own timeline —which, in turn, leaves them even more confused. . .
but I stand by my choices.
[please note: adding a partner into my life is not on my “never again!” list.
i just don’t actively search for something to complete me, when the beauty of our short time on earth is experiencing it fully; not compromising or settling to fit someone else’s narrative, or idea of what they believe it should be.']
i’m writing this also …because i’m enjoying seeing more and more women realize this. —on TikTok. Where all can be REAL!
…also, to just forward this to all the next dumbfounded inquirers. . .
it honestly makes me kind of sad seeing the expressions on people’s faces when i share my growth as a happily independent woman, to those either seeking or in committed relationships.
especially when it comes from other strong women that say they could never do what i am doing, or could even see themselves content alone. as if it’s some kind of sadistic punishment...
now, i’m not shitting on relationships here either.
i know plenty of genuinely happy couples. i even know friends’ whose parents have been together for what is now an unheard of number of years —decades on decades, y’all.
(see: current day declining marriage rates; rise in divorces)
in a post-pandemic america, many found what truly matters in life and the importance of time.
it is the most valuable currency. i cannot stress that enough. value yours! 🌻
🌻
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